Dear MRA: I am not going to change what I do because of a pathetic f**k like you

I am so impressed with these first blog entries.  They pick up on so many of the core themes of the course: the complexities of community work; the disciplinary implications of fear; the critical questions of victimization and agency; how we should conceptualize resistance; and fundamentally, our affective reactions to all of this – vulnerability, fear, anger and our deep desires for change.

When Brownmiller argued that rape is a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a constant state of fear, she wrote out of a deep desire for change.  For her, and for other second wave feminists struggling against rape culture in the 1970s, the first step was to bring rape into the public and identify it as a political problem.  Dissecting the implications of rape culture, the manner in which fear of rape operates as a mechanism of social control over women, identifying the ways in which all men, even tangentially benefit, from this, these were a strategies for inspiring collective anger. And even though it may seem that Brownmiller's analysis could be understood as counseling despair, she and other second wave feminists firmly believed in the possibilities of change. “Gender,” the social construction of “sex,” could be reconceived and rape culture undone. While we may all be critical of her strategic focus on law reform or by her failures to acknowledge the sexual in power, her message was not that we need to submit to the gendered imperatives of rape culture. She envisioned a future in which men and women (she operated from a firmly dichotomous view of gender) could live together differently – a post-patriarchy.

Unfortunately, we’re still waiting for that post-patriarchy. Fear still accompanies us, sometimes causing us to be uneasy on dark streets, in bars and in online spaces hostile to feminists. And while I think we need to be cautious, I am very aware of how the imperatives of rape culture continue to constrain our behaviours. I have been thinking lately that my own conscious efforts to resist, to refuse to play the part of a safety-conscious victim-in-waiting, has made me almost immune to fear. This week I’ve gotten messages of support from friends and colleagues around the world, and many seasoned feminist activists have told me to be careful. These hateful MRAs are unpredictable and truly unbalanced in their demonization of feminism and of feminists like me. 

My favorite Garneau Sisterhood Poster reads, “Dear rapist, I am not going to change my life for a pathetic fuck like you.”  I want to rephrase this message. “Dear MRA, I am not going to change anything I do because of a pathetic fuck like you.” And while there is much to criticize in second wave analyses of rape, the message that we must move from fear to anger and collective resistance is one that is still very valuable.